me vs me

me: I am Vinal. Grew up in Udaipur. Grew up in a typical middle class family possibly the happiest childhood where money was not the source of happiness but famility was. Those summers, afternoons and evenings are still the best days of my life...
When I think of it, I want to live the life the same way I did then without any chnage without any huge ambitions just the simple Life...Be with papa, mummy and didi.

me: I am Vinal. Grew up in Udaipur. Grew up in a typical middle class family. Went to kota with an ambition : to become the best. Got into one of the best engg college-IITD. The sheer energy of that time still amazes me. The competition at kota and IIT still fills me with the aspiration to go beyond where even the best have reached in terms of money and power. Show the world who is the best through best TAGS around my name.
If I need to fulfil that I should choose the best options available in front of me.

me: I am Vinal. Grew up in Udaipur. Grew up in a typical middle class family. Went to kota and then further to IITD. Joined ITC to live in Kolkata and Haridwar. Observed life at different places and in different conditions. Saw plead of people right in their eyes and their voice not in their words. They call me for help in their silence. And I want to stay...dont really know how to help them but I want to stay...

me: I am Vinal. Grew up in Udaipur. Grew up in a typical middle class family. Went to kota and then further to IITD. Joined ITC to live in Kolkata and Haridwar. I have worked for almost 3 years in whatever i was good at. But now i want to do something that I want to do not what others feel I am good at. I really dont know what it is i REALLY want to do...write a book .... purue my childhood passion cricket in any form.......a professor and researcher in pure mathematics..... become an entrepreneur in stock market

me: I am Vinal. Grew up in Udaipur. Grew up in a typical middle class family. Went to kota and then further to IITD. Joined ITC to live in Kolkata and Haridwar. I have worked for almost 3 years not knowing what I want but the truth is I want all....all that I have said above but really dont know the option to get that all...

One moment of happiness

They say inner pain is visble from the eyes of the person. I beg to differ. Its the face.How? there are people whom I
don't know, never talked to and never bothered, but some day some sunday afternoon, I tend to recall the face of an old
lady sitting next to you in the bus or an odd thelawala who used to sell fruits in the streets.
And suddenly I find the face is radiating pain, I dont know why it bothers me, but it keeps attracting my thought
and I realise I know his pain. I know why that lady is unhappy or that thelawala is in pain. I always knew but
never cared to bother.

Their face, yes their face, tells their story. They are unhappy because they are all alone. They cant remember last time they
laughed, laughed out of their heart. They fail to recall one moment of happiness from yesterday when they forgot all their
worldly responsibilities. But why is it bothering me, that too now, when I have no clue where they are.

This is a killing thought. I am an IIT graduate working in a nice company. I am financially secure,have a loving family,
everything that I have nothing to bother. But still I bother. I dont want to help them but I do want to tell them i
understand their pain. Just want to give them that one moment of happiness, one laugh.

...

Fear

My friends say I never fear anyone. They think so coz i they never saw me nervous since ages....if u see from they are very true...I actually never had fear of anything...Never had fear of ghosts...studies....challenges...lonliness nothing...
Just went on conquering everything and everyone that came on the way...
I did never fear of anything the books, the competition, the job, the colleagues, the bosses no-one till recently i realised I do fear of some people.

These are the people who think I m fearless....My Friends.

All my life I have been proud of my friends....friends from school college and wherever i went...just kept making so may good friends....

And still when i look my phonebook or orkut page. see their pictures I fear to see that...Fear to make the contact...and these are all people who have been very close to me at some point of time...with whom i spent most of my evenings...but why so...

It fear what will be our recation when we try to catch up and realise that there are so many things happening in our lives which at one pint we would have shared with each other moment it has happened....but now we don't even think about them...forget about them for weeks together suddnly to realise how far we have gone and the distance has grown so much that you fear that if now I try to extend my hand they may be out of my reach. And that's what i fear most.

Its easy to think about catching up with someone but becomes dreadful when you see the need of catching up with friends who shared almost every thought in their minds...

Life was very easy till the time I was studying...no. of friends increasing wherever you go and now suddenly I find so may people I care about but i don't know how they are doing and what is happening to them....

Some uncooked food for thought

04 Oct, Bus from Ahmedabad to Udaipur

I saw a girl sitting on my side. She was almost 6 months old.

cutest as ever. But what caught my eye were her eyes, so

innocent and fresh...

And mesmerized by the beauty of early childhood, i kept staring

and then i saw she was looking towards me...smiling...and

wondering who i am and then she looked at another passenger way

different than my looks but she gave the same smile.

I wondered that what must be going i her little mind . New to

the world her eyes were exploring each ad everything...trying to

understand the diversity in this world. Enjoying the beauty of

God without judging it good or bad.

Ad then her eyes went towards a bulb and she started plyaing

with it. on..off...on...off... trying to differentiate between

light and darkness...without fearing from darkness. Equally

enjoying the two.

And then I realised its the grown up mind which does the

classifications and discriminations. We were allgrown like a

blank slate and then time and our orthodox surrounding bind us

to assumptions which become truth for us.
Assumptions like dark is bad; light is hope; fair is beautiful;

scars are ugly....

Sometimes I do wonder what world would have been like if we

never grew up. Would there be no fear no discrimination no

injustice?? would we take everything and everyone in our

surrounding just as they are without classifying them in to

good/bad beautiful/ugly fair/dark and having different

behaviors for the two?

In the end, please don't rate the above as good/bad just take it as raw food for thought.

Those days...

This one is not one of the usuals on Generation Gap or another story dippped in nostalgia.Its just a passing thouught. Try out...may be you find it true if not interesting.....

We all keep talking of the generation gap.
Ever thought how or why this gap is there....how is it created....

This moment this phase is the source of the Gap.The time we are in we are creating a Gap between us and the coming generation.

Think Back, we are all out of college/school for quite some time now... but are we? we still remember and discuss the same things....craving to be there one more time...We still get nostalgic on one song which was popular in the hostel even though it may not be our personal favourite.

Me and many of us are still stuck in those days refusing to move on discarding any claim of real world being better than those days and already starting to use "those days" kind of words.

Remember the last time you heard such words from your parents or Grandparents and retaliating by telling them that "those days" do not exist anymore and time has changed.
If you still can't, you will soon do. Just wait for kids playing in your houses and the park to grow up.

Try this one.... just go to your first/second school. Notice the changes that have come in the place/teachers/students and suddenly you will find yourself comparimg it to your times and already judging that your days were far better that theirs.


Funny but true... its difficult to get out of those days and believe me when we see the next generation growing up we do remember how we did it and how much fun it was that way...

Feeling old already? :)

Prologue to The First Thought Revolution

Its high time for the world to change.
This economy has taken over the lives of the mankind.
Most people in world are working more than 12 hrs a day to earn

something that thety really dont want.
We are working to get some names attached to ourselves.
We want more money to buy clothes we never get to wear...
we want money to buy food which we should not eat...
we want money for accessories eating up our valuable leisure..
we want money to buy gold which has no bloody use..
and the biggest irony is we are working so that we may relax!!
If the humanity wants to upgrade to the next level of evolution,
the current systems has to undergo a complete change.

People got to stop working they dont like for something they
dont want...Please ask them to stop working for their old age,
child's college... Jas Tell them you do what you like most and
we will take care of the rest and watch the best come out of
them.

We got to provide each and everyone a full assurity of back up
on any failure...let them take risks with themeselves...and you
will see the diamonds coming out of coal instead just getting
burnt away in the furnace of life..

You want proof? Please ask the best leaders the key to get the
best out of their employees and you will get the answer. they
all stood by their subordinates whenever they wanted to take
risks. Many times they failed but they succeeded they ended up
making the best success stories.

Let me tell you one more thing, humans are immensely gifted by
nature in millions of ways and its a crime more severe than
murder to not let these talents come out...

The outrage has to start now paving the way for the world's
First thought revolution.
The whole perspective has to change. Instead of money oriented
lifestyle we got to move towards a perfection oriented
lifestyle. Instead of craving for more money its high time we
start working for perfection.

Utopia is possible only when we carve the best out of every
individual.

Life at ITC Centre

Its been 3 days in head office NBDC but I am still a newbie or jas a new fish in the pond and people still think I m an intern.

Here are few things about my office life:

Half an hour

An in some dimension that exists in this office half an hour is a never ending quanta of time.
You ask person for something and u r told…jas give me half an hour. Yes, that is the reply u get every half hour.


Wait!

Mr. Balakrishnan notices me waiting at reception.
Big B: (with curiosity) arre, what are u doing here.
Fish: Sir, waiting for my lunch.
Big B: Waiting for Lunch! That’s a shame.
Fish: yes sir. It is. (Still don’t know is it shameful for me or ITC; but since now I am a part of ITC it doesn’t really matter)

The conversation was over and I was back to my job: WAITING.
Then like a flash the whole morning came into my mind.
I reach office at 8.45 AM. I want to enter the office but I have no access card. So what I Do : WAITING.
Somehow, I enter the office. Reach out for one of my senior to get some input on my project. The answer was come at 10.30 am. So, I move to another senior. “I will see u after lunch”. So I want to go back to my seat in 5th floor office. But jas a sec I will have to do one more thing first. U guessed it right. WAIT! (no access card also means no exit).

And somehow I think which is a bigger shame (plz don’t worry whose shame it is): is is the waiting for petty things or see ppl move around u staring at u and saying by looks: Don’t u have any work?? I reply by looks only: can’t u see…. I am busy WAITING.

I come back into reality.


PROJECT

In ITC terms, technically what I m doing can’t be termed as project too. (Think financially)
But, anyways I m doing something what I m supposed to do.
I have a program to follow to meet people and get useful data from them.
Fairly simple job, huh?
Lets take a look.
Fish: Good morning Sir, I am
S1: ohh. I am really busy in this work. And I hav a meeting thereafter. Meet me in half an hour(please refer note1).

Fish (few half an hours later): Sir, May I?
S1: Oh ok. Hmmm.. So what do u want?
Fish: sir, I am vagaira vagaira. I need falana falana data from you.
S1: before getting into the data you must kno <>. You meet S2, understand all this that and then come to me. I will give u data. THAT IS NOT AN ISSUE. (in golden letters : btw this phrase is no longer copyrighted to HR managers).
Fish: thank you Sir.

Fish moves to s2 and after several half an hours)
Fish: GM sir.
S2: oh come come just let me finish this thing and I will sit with u.
WAITING time
S2: ya….so, what do u want?
.
.
,
,
and so on.


coming posts:

• BOSS
• HR