life goes on

me vs me

2009-12-02T08:10:00.004+05:30

me: I am Vinal. Grew up in Udaipur. Grew up in a typical middle class family possibly the happiest childhood where money was not the source of happiness but famility was. Those summers, afternoons and evenings are still the best days of my life...
When I think of it, I want to live the life the same way I did then without any chnage without any huge ambitions just the simple Life...Be with papa, mummy and didi.

me: I am Vinal. Grew up in Udaipur. Grew up in a typical middle class family. Went to kota with an ambition : to become the best. Got into one of the best engg college-IITD. The sheer energy of that time still amazes me. The competition at kota and IIT still fills me with the aspiration to go beyond where even the best have reached in terms of money and power. Show the world who is the best through best TAGS around my name.
If I need to fulfil that I should choose the best options available in front of me.

me: I am Vinal. Grew up in Udaipur. Grew up in a typical middle class family. Went to kota and then further to IITD. Joined ITC to live in Kolkata and Haridwar. Observed life at different places and in different conditions. Saw plead of people right in their eyes and their voice not in their words. They call me for help in their silence. And I want to stay...dont really know how to help them but I want to stay...

me: I am Vinal. Grew up in Udaipur. Grew up in a typical middle class family. Went to kota and then further to IITD. Joined ITC to live in Kolkata and Haridwar. I have worked for almost 3 years in whatever i was good at. But now i want to do something that I want to do not what others feel I am good at. I really dont know what it is i REALLY want to do...write a book .... purue my childhood passion cricket in any form.......a professor and researcher in pure mathematics..... become an entrepreneur in stock market

me: I am Vinal. Grew up in Udaipur. Grew up in a typical middle class family. Went to kota and then further to IITD. Joined ITC to live in Kolkata and Haridwar. I have worked for almost 3 years not knowing what I want but the truth is I want all....all that I have said above but really dont know the option to get that all...

One moment of happiness

2009-07-24T19:14:00.000+05:30

They say inner pain is visble from the eyes of the person. I beg to differ. Its the face.How? there are people whom I
don't know, never talked to and never bothered, but some day some sunday afternoon, I tend to recall the face of an old
lady sitting next to you in the bus or an odd thelawala who used to sell fruits in the streets.
And suddenly I find the face is radiating pain, I dont know why it bothers me, but it keeps attracting my thought
and I realise I know his pain. I know why that lady is unhappy or that thelawala is in pain. I always knew but
never cared to bother.

Their face, yes their face, tells their story. They are unhappy because they are all alone. They cant remember last time they
laughed, laughed out of their heart. They fail to recall one moment of happiness from yesterday when they forgot all their
worldly responsibilities. But why is it bothering me, that too now, when I have no clue where they are.

This is a killing thought. I am an IIT graduate working in a nice company. I am financially secure,have a loving family,
everything that I have nothing to bother. But still I bother. I dont want to help them but I do want to tell them i
understand their pain. Just want to give them that one moment of happiness, one laugh.

...

Fear

2009-05-13T13:50:00.000+05:30

My friends say I never fear anyone. They think so coz i they never saw me nervous since ages....if u see from they are very true...I actually never had fear of anything...Never had fear of ghosts...studies....challenges...lonliness nothing...
Just went on conquering everything and everyone that came on the way...
I did never fear of anything the books, the competition, the job, the colleagues, the bosses no-one till recently i realised I do fear of some people.

These are the people who think I m fearless....My Friends.

All my life I have been proud of my friends....friends from school college and wherever i went...just kept making so may good friends....

And still when i look my phonebook or orkut page. see their pictures I fear to see that...Fear to make the contact...and these are all people who have been very close to me at some point of time...with whom i spent most of my evenings...but why so...

It fear what will be our recation when we try to catch up and realise that there are so many things happening in our lives which at one pint we would have shared with each other moment it has happened....but now we don't even think about them...forget about them for weeks together suddnly to realise how far we have gone and the distance has grown so much that you fear that if now I try to extend my hand they may be out of my reach. And that's what i fear most.

Its easy to think about catching up with someone but becomes dreadful when you see the need of catching up with friends who shared almost every thought in their minds...

Life was very easy till the time I was studying...no. of friends increasing wherever you go and now suddenly I find so may people I care about but i don't know how they are doing and what is happening to them....

Some uncooked food for thought

2008-10-05T23:12:00.006+05:30

04 Oct, Bus from Ahmedabad to Udaipur

I saw a girl sitting on my side. She was almost 6 months old.

cutest as ever. But what caught my eye were her eyes, so

innocent and fresh...

And mesmerized by the beauty of early childhood, i kept staring

and then i saw she was looking towards me...smiling...and

wondering who i am and then she looked at another passenger way

different than my looks but she gave the same smile.

I wondered that what must be going i her little mind . New to

the world her eyes were exploring each ad everything...trying to

understand the diversity in this world. Enjoying the beauty of

God without judging it good or bad.

Ad then her eyes went towards a bulb and she started plyaing

with it. on..off...on...off... trying to differentiate between

light and darkness...without fearing from darkness. Equally

enjoying the two.

And then I realised its the grown up mind which does the

classifications and discriminations. We were allgrown like a

blank slate and then time and our orthodox surrounding bind us

to assumptions which become truth for us.
Assumptions like dark is bad; light is hope; fair is beautiful;

scars are ugly....

Sometimes I do wonder what world would have been like if we

never grew up. Would there be no fear no discrimination no

injustice?? would we take everything and everyone in our

surrounding just as they are without classifying them in to

good/bad beautiful/ugly fair/dark and having different

behaviors for the two?

In the end, please don't rate the above as good/bad just take it as raw food for thought.

Those days...

2008-09-03T03:55:00.000+05:30

This one is not one of the usuals on Generation Gap or another story dippped in nostalgia.Its just a passing thouught. Try out...may be you find it true if not interesting.....

We all keep talking of the generation gap.
Ever thought how or why this gap is there....how is it created....

This moment this phase is the source of the Gap.The time we are in we are creating a Gap between us and the coming generation.

Think Back, we are all out of college/school for quite some time now... but are we? we still remember and discuss the same things....craving to be there one more time...We still get nostalgic on one song which was popular in the hostel even though it may not be our personal favourite.

Me and many of us are still stuck in those days refusing to move on discarding any claim of real world being better than those days and already starting to use "those days" kind of words.

Remember the last time you heard such words from your parents or Grandparents and retaliating by telling them that "those days" do not exist anymore and time has changed.
If you still can't, you will soon do. Just wait for kids playing in your houses and the park to grow up.

Try this one.... just go to your first/second school. Notice the changes that have come in the place/teachers/students and suddenly you will find yourself comparimg it to your times and already judging that your days were far better that theirs.

Funny but true... its difficult to get out of those days and believe me when we see the next generation growing up we do remember how we did it and how much fun it was that way...

Feeling old already? :)

Prologue to The First Thought Revolution

2008-01-07T02:28:00.000+05:30

Its high time for the world to change.
This economy has taken over the lives of the mankind.
Most people in world are working more than 12 hrs a day to earn

something that thety really dont want.
We are working to get some names attached to ourselves.
We want more money to buy clothes we never get to wear...
we want money to buy food which we should not eat...
we want money for accessories eating up our valuable leisure..
we want money to buy gold which has no bloody use..
and the biggest irony is we are working so that we may relax!!
If the humanity wants to upgrade to the next level of evolution,
the current systems has to undergo a complete change.

People got to stop working they dont like for something they
dont want...Please ask them to stop working for their old age,
child's college... Jas Tell them you do what you like most and
we will take care of the rest and watch the best come out of
them.

We got to provide each and everyone a full assurity of back up
on any failure...let them take risks with themeselves...and you
will see the diamonds coming out of coal instead just getting
burnt away in the furnace of life..

You want proof? Please ask the best leaders the key to get the
best out of their employees and you will get the answer. they
all stood by their subordinates whenever they wanted to take
risks. Many times they failed but they succeeded they ended up
making the best success stories.

Let me tell you one more thing, humans are immensely gifted by
nature in millions of ways and its a crime more severe than
murder to not let these talents come out...

The outrage has to start now paving the way for the world's
First thought revolution.
The whole perspective has to change. Instead of money oriented
lifestyle we got to move towards a perfection oriented
lifestyle. Instead of craving for more money its high time we
start working for perfection.

Utopia is possible only when we carve the best out of every
individual.

Life at ITC Centre

2007-07-08T21:50:00.000+05:30

Its been 3 days in head office NBDC but I am still a newbie or jas a new fish in the pond and people still think I m an intern.

Here are few things about my office life:

Half an hour

An in some dimension that exists in this office half an hour is a never ending quanta of time.
You ask person for something and u r told…jas give me half an hour. Yes, that is the reply u get every half hour.

Wait!

Mr. Balakrishnan notices me waiting at reception.
Big B: (with curiosity) arre, what are u doing here.
Fish: Sir, waiting for my lunch.
Big B: Waiting for Lunch! That’s a shame.
Fish: yes sir. It is. (Still don’t know is it shameful for me or ITC; but since now I am a part of ITC it doesn’t really matter)

The conversation was over and I was back to my job: WAITING.
Then like a flash the whole morning came into my mind.
I reach office at 8.45 AM. I want to enter the office but I have no access card. So what I Do : WAITING.
Somehow, I enter the office. Reach out for one of my senior to get some input on my project. The answer was come at 10.30 am. So, I move to another senior. “I will see u after lunch”. So I want to go back to my seat in 5th floor office. But jas a sec I will have to do one more thing first. U guessed it right. WAIT! (no access card also means no exit).

And somehow I think which is a bigger shame (plz don’t worry whose shame it is): is is the waiting for petty things or see ppl move around u staring at u and saying by looks: Don’t u have any work?? I reply by looks only: can’t u see…. I am busy WAITING.

I come back into reality.

PROJECT

In ITC terms, technically what I m doing can’t be termed as project too. (Think financially)
But, anyways I m doing something what I m supposed to do.
I have a program to follow to meet people and get useful data from them.
Fairly simple job, huh?
Lets take a look.
Fish: Good morning Sir, I am
S1: ohh. I am really busy in this work. And I hav a meeting thereafter. Meet me in half an hour(please refer note1).

Fish (few half an hours later): Sir, May I?
S1: Oh ok. Hmmm.. So what do u want?
Fish: sir, I am vagaira vagaira. I need falana falana data from you.
S1: before getting into the data you must kno <>. You meet S2, understand all this that and then come to me. I will give u data. THAT IS NOT AN ISSUE. (in golden letters : btw this phrase is no longer copyrighted to HR managers).
Fish: thank you Sir.

Fish moves to s2 and after several half an hours)
Fish: GM sir.
S2: oh come come just let me finish this thing and I will sit with u.
WAITING time
S2: ya….so, what do u want?
.
.
,
,
and so on.

coming posts:

BOSS
HR

The Prohibited

2007-04-26T17:13:00.000+05:30

Human mind is one of the most complex creations of the supreme power.It has its own choices, likes and the dislikes.we love flowers, colours, fragrance, beauty, sex,taste and lot more things. But ever thought what this mind likes the most? Its not the rarest of the things, its not the most beautiful of the things......but its the Prohibited territory.

As a child we want chocolates not just because of their taste but because we have limited access to it. as an adolescent we whine for girls and smoke and alcohol.we grow up and we look for money....more through the ways that are prohibited than through ways which are "open".
And lately i too have realised how much i wish for the prohibited. I want all the things that are not for me...i know that..but still is it too bad to wish for what is not for you!!??Doesnt a person has right atleast to long for what he may never get?! I don'y think so...coz what i see is there are many things we may never get....that ppl would say we should never long for......but that should stop you for longing abt it..dreaming about it....or even compromising on it...So i am gonna love everything i am prohibited to......Love, money, Happiness.....I am not gonna stop dreaming about it....and i am not gonna look for it in something else......

and so should u?? Win the invincible....

OMKARA: Movie Review

2006-08-10T05:27:00.000+05:30

The movie felt good, smelled good but didnt tasted good.

The movie created great interest throgh promos that depicted the realities of west UP and Bihar conditions. Even in the movie the smell of land was right there. But the Mr. Director forgot to make a good story out of it. as a result we could see some brilliant acting and cinematograhic performances looking for story support.

as far as acting was concerned Ajay Devgan once again delived a good performance of what he is used to for so long. Vipasha with hardly any role was just ok. Vivek oberoi seems to have lost his "chandu" charm. well, the 15 park avenue lady seemed to be in the movie only for giving the movie an art-movie look. Most of the times she was unbearable.
But the star of the show was Definitly Mr. langda Tyagi who has shown his maturity through his series of brilliant performance.Saif moulded himself perfectly into tyagi's character.If it wasnt him the movie could have been a huge disaster.

Even after having a strong cast for the movie who dont really depress, the viewer finds himself lost about what actually was tried through the movie?? was it commercial or art movie?? what was the movie aimed at?? the movie was very slow and without any reasons.
Most art movies are slow as they are thought provokingand thus the slowness provides time for viwere to think and form opinion. But the director missed out. he just slowed down the movie without providing the viwere anything to respond.

Internship @ Surat

2006-07-30T20:15:00.000+05:30

Wait wait Wait...dont run jas by reading the topic.believe me this has nothing to do with anything Technical as given on www.2003me20579.blogspot.com

This one is regarding the wonderful experience i had the last 2 months.
these last 2 months i learned a lot not only about the industry but also what it is like to be peaceful and happy.

Adventures have always attracted me and will always continue to do so.But tehse 2 months added a new dimension to my personality where i learned what it is to get dettled and lead a peaceful life.
From past 5 years I never felt like it. I was always restless moving from one task to another. But these 2 months where there were no expectations, i really felt peace and after a few days i wanted to work whaich had never happened to me in like 15 years.
I have always struggled to live upto expectations of others and mine.there was alwaz a presurre on me to perform but this time it was all different.

Of course at aome point of ife may be after 15 years if i wanted to settle down, i won't hesitate to give up ant lucrative job for that kind of peaceful life.

2006-07-03T09:38:00.000+05:30

Germany 2006
lets start from the start.
I first saw Fwc in 1994 with brazil as favourites (eventually they won) but till this world cup i was quite unaware of players, strategy and even the emotion of the game.
It was germany 2006 that i found my true feelingfor soccer. Now i am typically an argentinian fan.Hail to the perfect team balance.
And what a game rite from S&M(6-0) to germany(lost 3-5 in shootouts). Every single time iot was a great delight to watch them play in such a beautiful harmony.The only thing to miss was a good coach.T
he substituteions were sad and Messi was unnecesserily avoided. The wizard could have done wonders for the eam apecially against germany. who knows with Messi playing there would hav been no shootouts.Cruz and defensive cambiasso nowhere match the class of the 18 year old.
Anyways,argentina departs sadly from Germany but semis will be exciting.
Italy-Portugal will be my favourite final though Zidane is playing beautifully and france comes to semis defeating Brazil.
so lets keep kicking.....

Finally....

2006-03-14T08:46:00.000+05:30

yes ppl i finally got the meaning for my name.....

well i found out 3 meanings and i accepted one for my name....

1. a textile containing large units of poly vinyl chloride...........scrapped

2.name derived from english royal family vinehall..................good but still scrapped

3. vinal : of wine.......................................accepted as..........................

LIKE WINE.

when will u die?

2006-03-13T19:36:00.000+05:30

HAPPY HOLI???

2006-03-13T19:09:00.000+05:30

first of all a very happy and colorful holi to all the readers.

but from last few years i have relly strted hating this festival.
and the reason is something that is happening jas now.

i am in my insti's computer centre at the moment. believe me no one who knows me wud expect me here at this time. but i m here bcause i was returning from barista to my hostel only to see many of students black blue and pink. i checked my watch for date and time...and i found its still 2 days for holi but no..our so called fun loving voys have started annoying ppl rite from today without knoing weder one wants to be part of their stupidity.

`now i m frustrated coz i had plans to do various things tonite but iguess i wud be stuck here for another hour without any work bcoz some ppl wanna play.....

this stupidity is at such an extent that nobody cares if one has a skin problem or anything.(yes, i also have skin problem and cany play wit harsh colors)
being fun loving does not imply u strat annoying others .

There is thick line between being fun-loving and uncivilized but the "brilliant""student of iitd have forgotten to put their glasses on.

they are ready to do become idiots just to prove they are also cool.
but is it cool?

every thing is good at right time and in rite manner.....bt u gotta see others convenience. but there is one good thing about it....my perception abt iitians(inc. me may be) from last 3 yrs has been absolutely rite that they can never be sensible...

:))

wo din....

2006-03-04T23:51:00.000+05:30

yaar ye kapish bahut jordar aadmi hai...

saala jab bhi usse contact hota hai..weder orkut or blog or even messenger he leaves me with those golden memories i left in kota....

and for next many hours i will try to live in those times by listening to enrique's escape....
watching photos of those times........

as i want to run away from those memories accepting the truth that i can never go back there more i miss those times.....

undoubtedly that was the best part of life i lived...
and for letting me those times i would like to thank all the people in kota friends and enemies...evryone...

every moment of that time was special...
and its very difficult to jot down those events and feelings....
they are jas to special for words to cover them....

DEATH

2006-02-21T09:16:00.000+05:30

I dont know why but concept of death has always attracted me. right from early childhood i used to think wat will happen to us when we die...

whether we will go to some place in this universe, is there something like yamloka, or rebirth..and if there is rebirth whrer we will be i between...

do ghosts exist? if yes, why? and if they exist as they are without body and flesh...why did we evolve to humans and not to electromagnetic waves already.

or wat are we living is just like a pre-requisite for something much more meaningful and logical than this world....

are all souls equal after death or they have some difference based on life or mode of death...

is death a momentirarily experience or it too has a length like life..is it in days,monthss, years or centuries.....

watever anyone say, death is much more an interestiong concept to be feared for...
so much science is developed in many fields including ways to prevent death(read medical science) but nothing is done to know much meaningful thing than life...DEATH..

TILL DEATH MAKES US ONE....

P.S. do not write about assholes like gajraj in the comments....

.........coz i m strong

2006-02-20T20:19:00.000+05:30

i also feel pain....
but i dont show it ......coz i m strong

i also want to drink
and leave all tensions behind.......but i m strong

i want to smoke away my stress
but i keep away from it.........coz i m strong

i also feel neglected at times....
but i m through it....coz i m strong

i was also betrayed several times.....
but i rose up agin..on myself...coz i m strong

at times i also feel to be in somebody's arms
where i m safe......but i m alwaz on myself..simple reason...coz i m strong

sometimes i also wanna cry...cry out loud
say "fuck u" again n again....but i swallow it....coz i m strong

sometimes i also want to get away from my life...
be somewhere alone......but i face world....coz i m strong

i also want some real friends around me...
share my feelings with them...but i hear them myself...coz i m strong

am i really strong....is my individuality killing my humanity
do i have any fellings left or i m some self centred egotist who is so fucked up in himself that he is no more alive....
i dont care....coz i m strong....

Rise whenever u fall

2006-02-15T02:04:00.000+05:30

"Quit! Give up! You're beaten!" They shout at me and plead. "There's just too much against you now. This time you can't succeed!"

And as I start to hang my head In front of failure's face. My downward fall is broken by The memory of a race.

And hope refills my weakened will As I recall that scene:For just the thought of that short race Rejuvenates my being.

A children's race-young boys, young men-how I remember well.Excitement, sure! But also fear; It wasn't hard to tell.

They all lined up so full of hope Each thought to win that race.Or tie for first, or if not that, At least take second place.

And fathers watched from off the side Each cheering for his son.And each boy hoped to show his dad That he would be the one.

The whistle blew and off they went! Young hearts and hopes afire.To win and be the hero there Was each young boy's desire.

And one boy in particular Whose dad was in the crowd,Was running near the lead and thought: "My dad will be so proud!"

But as they speeded down the field Across a shallow dip,The little boy who thought to win Lost his step and slipped.

Trying hard to catch himself His hands flew out to brace,And mid the laughter of the crowd He fell flat on his face.

So down he fell and with him hope --He couldn't win it now--Embarrassed, sad, he only wished To disappear somehow.

But as he fell his dad stood up And showed his anxious face,Which to the boy so clearly said: "Get up and win the race."

He quickly rose, no damage done, --Behind a bit, that's all-- And ran with all his mind and might To make up for his fall.

So anxious to restore himself --To catch up and to win-- His mind went faster than his legs: He slipped and fell again!

He wished then he had quit before With only one disgrace."I'm hopeless as a runner now; I shouldn't try to race."

But in the laughing crowd he searched And found his father's face:That steady look which said again: "Get up and win the race!"

So up he jumped to try again --Ten yards behind the last-- "If I'm to gain those yards," he thought "I've got to move real fast."

Exerting everything he had He regained eight or ten,But trying so hard to catch the lead He slipped and fell again!

Defeat! He lied there silently --A tear dropped from his eye-- "There's no sense running any more; Three strikes: I'm out! Why try?"

The will to rise had disappeared; All hope had fled away;So far behind, so error prone; A loser all the way.

"I've lost, so what's the use," he thought. "I'll live with mydisgrace."But then he thought about his dad Who soon he'd have to face.

"Get up," an echo sounded low. "Get up and take your place;You were not meant for failure here. Get up and win the race."

"With borrowed will get up," it said, "You haven't lost at all.For winning is no more than this: To rise each time you fall."

So up he rose to run once more, And with a new commitHe resolved that win or lose At least he wouldn't quit.

So far behind the others now, --The most he'd ever been-- Still he gave it all he had And ran as though to win.

Three times he'd fallen, stumbling; Three times he rose again;Too far behind to hope to win He still ran to the end.

They cheered the winning runner As he crossed the line first place;Head high, and proud, and happy; No falling, no disgrace.

But when the fallen youngster Crossed the line last place,The crowd gave him the greater cheer For finishing the race.

And even though he came in last With head bowed low, unproud,You would have thought he'd won the race, to listen to the crowd.

And to his dad he sadly said, "I didn't do too well.""To me, you won," his father said. "You rose each time you fell."

Now when things seem dark and hard And difficult to face,The memory of that little boy Helps me in my race.

For all of life is like that race, With ups and downs and all.And all you have to do to win, Is rise each time you fall.

"Quit! Give up! You're beaten!" They still shout in my face.But another voice with me says: "GET UP AND WIN THE RACE!"

CRAZZY QUERYY

2006-02-11T01:24:00.000+05:30

WHY DO POLITICIANS DONT COMMIT SUICIDE???

its true...all ur life u'd hav heard news about students,businessmen,working class,housewives and husbands etc. etc. committing suicide due to sm reason or the other...

but anyone of u ever heard any poltician committing suicide.
doesnt any politian has any tensions??
doent any of them is ashamed by his involvement in various "ghotalas"??

or they are just born shameless ppl.....

P.S. sometimes suicide also leaves a message. i m glad to get one from some politician.

TAGGED!!!!!

2006-02-10T23:53:00.000+05:30

Tagged By Mahek

1.Single or Taken: Single
2.Age: 20
3.Birthday: Dec 14th, 1985
4.Hair: Black
5.Eye colour: Black
6.Shoe size: 9

Full name: Vinal Kabra

1.Did you send this to your crush? sorry, no crushes...:(
2.Did your crush send this to you?:
ye to wahi jane jisne bheja hai...;)

**o n S t u f f**
1.Where is your favourite place to shop:
Shopping sucks.
2.Any tatoos?: No
3.Do u do drugs?: yes,whenever i m sick..:D
4.What are you listening to right now?: Anjaane...great song by Strings
.What car do you wish to have? Merc.
Where do you want to get married?
court

*FAVORITES*
1.Color: RED
2.Subjects in college: many but i like OR and maths

3.Music: lucky ali to soft rock...depending on mood
1.Given anyone a bath? Never
2.Bungee jumped:
Nopes........but really want to
3.Broken the law: did i ever followed a law???
4.Ever been in love: <>..yes
5.Made yourself cry to get out of trouble: never

*F i n a l Q u e s t i o n s **
1.How many people are you sending this to? Zero
2.What is the last film you saw at the theatre? Rang De Basanti

check out www.fund00.blogspot.com

2005-11-13T20:42:00.000+05:30

hi everybody!!!
ur comments and views are welcome at my latest post on www.fund00.blogspot.com
lets check wats ur perspective???

i dont desrve to be here..i dont wanna be here...then y am i here???

2005-11-13T20:10:00.000+05:30

for quite a long time..i hav observed i am comprised of 2 very different personality.
iam very different with ppl i was before iit and with the ppl i am here.
amd i think i was a better person then.

is it me or the conditions that have changed??
if it was me then y i am the same person with old friends and why i feel like same old vinal i used to be. and even new friends that grow exponentially wen i meet ppl outside iitd.

certainly something is different over here and to be very sure i hate this "something".

i have frenz all over but still i am a lonely person when i am in here in iit.
from day1 i am counting the no. of days i will be able to leave this place.
no offence to anybody in person but i dont like the mindset in which most(certainly not all) are in.

the reason i write i dont deserve to be here
bcoz i know i m not innovative i m not having the brain which can do miracles i certaionly cant contribute in here.

wake up dead

2005-10-23T15:44:00.000+05:30

I am sitting on the railway station waiting for my train....
after all these years of work , responsibility , success and losses, love and hate, i am going back...
yes, back to home.I have got the retirement and now finally i can spend my time with my family at my home taht i have been longing for last 40 years.

at 20 i had to study.
at 30 i had to start my own biz
at 40 i had to expand my biz
at 50 i had to see biz goes global and social
and at 60 i must leave the organisation on itself for the next generation.

All these yrs. went as a flash and now i m standing here with white hair to rediscover myself, to recollect what i had left all these years.
i do miss my work but i am happy. happy because once again i m me.
all these years i was fiting for this day wen i m with me and now i m here.

Train must be coming.i m sitting on a chair raeding news of latest donations from my orgaisation.

ohh wats this?? thats a pain.its growing. like my heart id being pierced by a hot cane.wats taht light. a lite coming from a torch that is very powerful. i m blinded by it.......................................................................................................

where m i? oh here at the railway station. the train is here.
" hey Mr. Station master. wheres II tier AC S2??...."
"excuse me plz. wheres II tier AC s2??...."
what the hell is with these people. they dont listen.
"bhaisahab, ap bataenge S2 kis side hai?"
oh my God , everyone is so self involved.ok, ill better find it myself.

yups, there it is. and theres my berth.
oh crap!! i left my luggage.
.
.
.
.
there it is .
wats up with this suitcase y cant i lift it. thandle is not coming in my hand.
they are...they are...the are going thru my hand.
am i dreaming??!!!!

i think i shud ask that person with newspaper
"excuse me please can u please help me with my suitcase........excuse me"

OH NO!!!!!
wat is it....am i awake.........
that .....taht person is me!!!!!!!!
where the hell am i ?...i cant touch anything....

am i going crazy??!!!!
or
or

I M DEAD.

IIT student vs Normal student

2005-10-19T18:14:00.000+05:30

Well personally, even i dont understand most of wat is sais by iit student but got it from smwhere so thot of sharing it with all of u.

IIT Student vs Normal Person

A NORMAL PERSON : People who live in glass houses
shouldnot throw stones.
IIT STUDENT : Individuals who make their abodes
invitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from
catapulting perilous projectiles.

*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Twinkle, twinkle, little star
IIT STUDENT : Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minim.

*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : All that glitters is not gold.
IIT STUDENT: All articles that coruscate with resplendence
are not truly auriferous.

*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Beggars are not choosers
IIT STUDENT : Sorting on the part of mendicants must be
interdicted.

*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Dead men tell no tales
IIT STUDENT : Male cadavers are incapable of rendering
any testimony.

*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Beginner's luck
IIT STUDENT : Neophyte's serendipity.

*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : A rolling stone gathers no moss
IIT STUDENT : A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates
no congeries of small, green, biophyticplant.

*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Birds of a feather flock together
IIT STUDENT: Members of an avian species of identical
plumage tend to congregate.

*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Beauty is only skin deep
IIT STUDENT : Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous
profundity.

*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Cleanliness is godliness
IIT STUDENT : Freedom from incrustations of grime
is contiguous to rectitude.

*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : There's no use crying over spilt milk
IIT STUDENT : It is fruitless to become lachrymose of
precipitately departed lactile fluid.

*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : You can't try to teach an old dog newtricks
IIT STUDENT : It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinatea
superannuated canine with innovative maneuvers.

*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Look before you leapIIT STUDENT :
Surveillance should precede saltation.

*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : He who laughs last, laughs best
IIT STUDENT : The person presenting the ultimatecachinnation
possesses thereby the optimal cachinnation.

*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : All work and no play makes Jack a dullboy.
IIT STUDENT : Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores
without interludes of hedonistic diversion renders Jacka
hebetudinous fellow.

*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Where there's smoke, there's fire!
IIT STUDENT : Where there are visible vapours havingtheir
provenance in ignited carbonaceous materials,there is conflagration.

as this is not my writing, next one,which btw will come soon, will be for "phoenix". :)

yahan ya wahan??!!!

2005-10-11T23:33:00.000+05:30

hi everybody

this time i m in a query....
from quite a long time i have felt this...
i donno if any one of u has felt it.
I am living alone for more than 4 yrs. now.
and now i feel i m ever happy...

wen i am at my hostel i miss my town, the lakes , roaming around with friends, mom's food, my bike and dad's car.....everything...

but again wen i m at home...i miss my college life..i miss the freedom to do anything anytime u like....going to nescafe at 3 am or watching movies all nite....doston ke sath bakaiti...arbit uchhalna....everything.

jab college me ho to...u hate ur busy schedule, ur minors, assignments, practicals, mess food, walking to reach anywhere in campus and buses for outside.

and wen u r in home, u hate sarcastic comments from ur parents on ur way of living, ur thots, ur dress up, ur hair cut and even ur friends. and then u r at home and all ur relatives and family friends with wierd sense of humour and zero IQ level turn up and ask delhi kaisa hai? khana kaisa hai? ..like if it wasnt good they will come and fix it up. and then comes the stories...kisi ke chach ke bhatije ne bhagkar shadi kar li who happes to be in sm college so y shud i get all the suggestions and warning. and many more stories that u all must be aware of...(like...koi padhai me acha tha isliye americaa me hai..., koi biz me acha kar raha hai..koi dhool chat raha hai..koi mba to koi ms...) every one of them think they are 100% right where they hav no idea of ground reality..

guess i hav bored u enuf wid my frustapa.....

u enjoy wherever u r...home or college....

hav gr8 holidays n dussehra
love

Why good guys are not selected by good girls??

2005-10-05T06:09:00.000+05:30

ABSTRACT:

This note illustrates the negative impact on good guys
of the presence of bad guys in a market for relationships.
We make use of two simple examples based upon the
lemons model by Akerlof (1970). Firstly, we show that
the presence of bad guys can lead to no market equilibrium
in the sense that no trade occurs. Secondly, we provide a
simpler framework in which only bad guys get a relationship
and good guys are crowded out of the market.

1.INTRODUCTION

Getting into relationships with girls is more difficult for
good guys than for bad ones. We illustrate this point in
the context of a market for relationships.
The choice variable is whether to enter into a relationship.
The setup of the model is borrowed from the lemons
model of Akerlof (1970)1. It is usually assumed that
buyers and sellers in a market are both perfectly informed
about the quality of the goods sold in this market. This
assumption can be challenged if information is costly to
obtain. In the case of interest in this paper, information
is clearly costly to obtain. We think of guys as being
suppliers of and girls as being demanders for a relationship.
This assumption is made for convenience: in the real world,
good girls may also be affected by the presence of bad
girls if they supply a relationship and guys demand one.
Anyway, the story works for both sides, so that we proceed
with our assumption. Obviously, girls would want to know
whether a guy is good or bad to go out with. However,
knowing this requires a costly process of gathering
information from previous girl-friends which is highly costly
given the inherent conflicts that are implied. This asymmetric
information leads to a suboptimal social equilibrium.

2.FIRST MODEL: NO TRADE TAKES PLACE

We draw largely upon Tirole (1988). In a market for
relationships, we assume that there is a population of guys
and a population of girls which are both normalized to unity.
The guy has monopoly power over a relationship whereas
the girl demands such a relationship. The relationship is
characterized b a parameter B> 0. We understand that
a higher parameter is equivalent to a higher level of quality
of the relationship. A status quo is defined as a situation
where both the guy and the girl remain single.

The guy’s surplus in the case of status quo is Q1 and it is
equal to p if a relationship takes place. The girl’s surplus
in the case of status quo is 0 and it is Q2 − p if a relationship
takes place. In our context the price can be interpreted as
the foregone free time for shopping, haircutting, and so on,
that the girl must accept. Typically, girls are more romantic
than guys and therefore, we will assume that the marginal
valuation for quality is higher for the girl than for the guy,
that is, Q2 > Q1. Whereas the guy knows perfectly, the girl
only knows that Q2 {0, 1} with probabilities
Pr(B=0) = Pr( B= 1) = 0.5 ...(1)
where 0 implies a low-quality relationship and 1 a
high-quality relationship.
So, the guy can be good or bad depending on the quality
of the relationship that he supplies. The girl maximizes her
expected surplus given by
(Q2)Be − p ...(2)
where Be is the expected quality of a relationship.
Participation of the buy in the trade requires p >=(Q1.B).
In other words, the guy would get into a relationship if and
only if B lies in [0,P/Q1].
Therefore, the girl’s expected quality given that trade
occurs is given by
Be(p) = 0.5 · 0 + 0.5 ·P/Q1=P/2(Q1) ...(3)

The girl will buy a relationship if and only if
Q2Be(p)>=P;
i.e. Q2.P/Q1>=P
1.e. Q2>=2(Q1)

If tastes do not differ too much, so that Q2 < 2Q1, there is
no equilibrium. For every , a transaction which is clearly
socially desirable will not take place. Both the girl and the
guy remain single. This result would not obtain if there
were only good guys in the market for relationships.

3.SECOND MODEL:ONLY BAD GUYS GET A RELATIONSHIP

The result obtained in the previous section is extreme in
the sense that no relationships take place. This section
presents a simple example where only bad guys will get
into relationships whereas good guys are crowded out. We
assume a market with 100 guys who supply a relationship
and 100 girls who demand a relationship. As before, it is
common knowledge that 50 guys are good, thereby
supplying a good relationship and the other 50 guys are
bad, therefore supplying a bad relationship. Each guy
knows his quality, i.e. whether he is good or bad, but
each girl does not know the quality of each guy with
certainty. We assume that each bad guy is ready to
sell himself for 100 units of time and a good guy for
200 units of time. The girls are willing to pay 120 units
of time for a bad guy and 240 units of time for a good guy.
Suppose now that there is no asymmetric information.
Each girl can observe the quality of each guy. The
equilibrium price for a bad relationship will lie between
100 and 120 units of time while the equilibrium price for
a good relationship will be between 200 and 240 units
of time. There is no market failure and the equilibrium is
socially optimal. However, what happens when there is
asymmetric information, i.e. when the supply side knows
something that the demand side cannot observe?
Well, the girls have to guess how much each guy is worth.
We assume that since any guy has an equal probability of
being a good guy or a bad guy, each girl is ready to pay
the expected value of the guy, that is
p = 0.5 · 120 + 0.5 · 240 = 180

At this price, only the bad guys would be willing to supply
a relationship and thus, only relationships with bad guys
are sold in the market. But then, if a girl is certain that
she would get a bad guy, she would not pay 180 units of
time but the equilibrium price between 100 and 120 units
of time. For such a price, only bad guys get a relationship
with a girl! Moreover, half the girls remain single.

The source of the market failure is an externality between
good and bad guys. This result is also rather extreme in
that it shows that only bad guys have a relationship and no
good guy does. Obviously, we know that this is not true so
that the market failure is not as bad as predicted by our
little model.
However, this approach helps understanding why some
guys of whom everyone says they are nice still
remain single... ;))

tagging

2005-09-26T20:34:00.000+05:30

Tagging is a new concept to me although seems exciting.lets try.....

i have got a tag from shaurya.

5 years ago:
me in pauls. IX class.well i was class's most unexpected ranker.i was extrovert daring boy. got punishments almost everyday with quite a good no. of teachers not liking me.(5 yrs before that i used to be fav. student of teachers) . I was very shy when it came to girls.but then a few events changed me. i went to jaipur and then goa for national science congress where i came in contact with a no. of girls who were attracted to me owing to my cute face( believe me i was cute then.)

1 year ago:
I entered my 2nd year in iitd. as usual i was counting days of my degree to be over as i never liked the place.i contd to sigh upon 2 wonderful years i had in kota. got broke up with my girlfriend. but astonishingly did well in my acads when i was least prepared.

5 songs I know all the words to:
all the words? ---aati kya khandala!!!
most words: words, escape,in the end, summer of 69,dil ko(RHTDM)

5 Snacks I enjoy:
maggi
muffin
potato chips.
sandwitch (made by mon)rava dosa (made by mon)
actually anything of mom's hand...just listed 2 of them.

Things I'd do with $100 million dollars:
hmmm......... i wud start my own industry. coz i love to work so i get both satisfaction and more money.i wud take a world tour (preferably alone).buy a huge mansion at sea-side and an exquisite restaurent of my own with the best chefs.a few bikes and cars.
yes, i m selfish.no charity.

5 places I would run away to:
udaipur: 1)fatehsagar 2)pichhola
3)past
4)marine drive
5)my room

5 things I would never wear:
girl wears
pink clothes
red pants
body tite clothes
other persons clothes

5 favourite TV shows:
friends
oc
tgilc
apprentice
guiness book of records

5 greatest joys:
nite out :working whole nite
nite out: roaming n playing cards with frens
success
perfect kiss
perfect hug

5 fav toys:
girls
girls
girls
girls
girls

tag passed to shaurya, mahak, vishal

Girls with Attitude

2005-09-22T13:47:00.000+05:30

Girls with Attitude!!!
Is this what Girls think about Boys???

If u treat her nice she says "yaar mujhe line de raha hai"
If u dont she says "kitna akarta hai"
If u dress nicely she says"mujhay impress karna chata hai"
If u dont she says "tasteless hai yaar"
If u argue with her she says"ziddi hai"
If u sit quietly she says"dumb hai"
If u act smarter "she'll lose her brain and say u r insulting her"
If she acts smarter "she think its her right"
If u dont love her she says "is ka to pehlay say hi 2,3 larkioon k saath chakar hai"
If u love her she says"peechay hi par gaya hai"
If u dont give her a kiss she says" tum mujh say serious naheen ho"
If u give her a kiss she says" sab ko line deta hoga"
If u r skinny she says "u shud have appropriate mass at appropriate places"
If u r healthy she says "u shud b smart"
If u dont tell her ur problems she says" ur not honest with me"
If u do tell to her she says "ur a problem child"
If u scold her she says "you act like a nanny giving lectures"
If she scolds u she says "Yaar, its becoz I care"
If u break a promise she says "she does not trust u any more"
If she breaks she says "jan mein majbour thi"
If u do good in exams she says "qismat ne saath diya warna tum or good marks"
If she gets goods mark she says"" its my brain"
If u hurt her she says "u r cruel & dont care for my feelings"
If she hurts you she replies "u r not understanding"

& they claim the (girls) r not Hypocrites??!!!

JEE: whats the hell do they want?

2005-09-16T04:15:00.000+05:30

well u know wat i m talking about?
yes!! its the latest change of format in JEE.

Being in IIT gives mean opportunity to analyse this better as i and most of u know wat the situation inside and outside IIT.

strinking on the paper dormat, there are always salient features of any question paper:
1. It must represent what qualities are expected from a student who is entering into the institution.
2.what plan does the institute has with the students who enter it which,by the way, should complement the qualities of student.

what does the new JEE format demands from students?
rule no.1--only 2 attempts
i think thats a good move for both students and iits. as far as students are concerned they can be saved from wasting years and years just preparing for it without any +ve output. As far as IITs are concerned they get minds that are relatively fresh and not frustrated my mugging up the jee sullybus.

rule no.2--only one objective question paper]
I think this is silly.consider the following points:
a) subjective paper can analyse not only the output but methodology and analytic thinking of a person while objective paper is just a way to measure his/her speed.In iits we want analytic minds who can think critically.its not a management institute where fast calculations are required.
and, if iit-jee high hats think they can do it with any obj,. paper why dont they have it INSIDE iits too.why do they then buzz about having exellent papers(inc. open book papers).just take obj. papers and they are done.
just try n propose this is any proff and he will laugh at ur face.

b)wats the aim of the paper? do they want how accurately we can fill values in mugged formulas or are they really interested in checking our application of concepts.

rule3:min. 60% marks
in indian format this has no effect. generally its only toppers of class that go for jee.good minds who are good in analytic thinking but lack ruttafication skills are dumped in schools only.so i guess its quite ok.

so there we are:

students: they get unhealthy competition as obj. paper will definitely attract more students to go for it who would aotherwise only appear for regional colleges.
iits: they get minds that may be good but not fit to their enviournment.

any coments...as always..welcome.

p.s: iit proffs must refer Mr. NITIN JAIN,faculty-bansal classes kota to see wat a paper should be like.

A TEST: for u n me

2005-09-11T19:58:00.000+05:30

A fun game for me and you

¸. •*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•

THIS IS A SURVEY WITH A TWIST - YOU fill in the blanks about ME and send it back to ME (through comments post), but FIRST, put a BLANK one on your blog for your friends,including ME, so they can return the favor to YOU. BE HONEST, they're really cool to get back, you might find something you missed before.

~~* RuLeZ *~~*
1st-Copy Paste this survey on your blog2nd-fill this survey out for ME3rd- BE HONEST & PLEASE ONCE YOU HIT THIS BLOG & READ THIS POST THEN DO REPLY¸. •*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•¸. •*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•

1. My name :
2. Where did we meet?:
3. Take a stab at my middle name:
4. How long have you known me?:
5. When is the last time we saw each other?:
6. Do I smoke?:
7. Do I believe in God?:
8. When you first saw me / talked with me what was your impression?:
9. My age:
10. Birthday:
11. Colour- hair:
12. Colour- eyes:
13. Do I have any brothers or sisters?:
14. (a)Have you ever had a crush on me?:b) do you still?
15. Have you ever been jealous of me?If yes, why?!
16. What's my favourite colour?:
17. What's one of my favourite movies?:
18.Do you remember one of the 1st things I said to you?:
19. What's my favourite type of music?:
20. What is the best feature about me?:
21. Am I shy or outgoing?
22. Would you say I am funny "ha ha" or funny(sarcastic)?:
23. Am I a rebel or do I follow all the rules?
24. Would you consider me a friend, an aquaintence or a good friend:
25. Would you call me pretty, slutty, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam,snobby, or something else(what?)?:
27. If there were one good nickname for me what would it be?:
28. Are my grandparents with me?:
29. Have you ever seen me cry? If so when and y did i cry?:
30.If i had broccoli in my teeth would you tell me?
31.What would u give me out of 10(10 the highest) for personality:
32.What would you give me out of 10(10 the highest) for looks?:
33.What annoys u most about me?:34.Do u think i am funny?:
35.If you could do one thing to me what would it be?:
36.If you could go anywhere with me where would it be?:
37.Do you trust me?:
38.Do you know anyone that fancies me?:
39.Do you know anyone that hates me?:
40.Do you love me?:

The Dream

2005-09-10T15:33:00.000+05:30

This is the dream i consider my best dream....

i have had this several times and each time it leaves me wondering why i keep seeing it every now and then.here it is......

A fine morning, i wake up in my bed. Its still dark ouside and sunrays are fighting their ways through dark clouds and darkness of the night.
I wake up , overwhelmed by this ultimate weather , and strech out and out of nowhere i see myself running on a garden.the garden is not a normal one. its built on a slope.an inclined circular garden with green grass all over it not leaving any space empty.
the grass is green and wet. wet by the rains all over night and still showering.
And i am running and running faster against the wind and rain. both hitting my face and i am enjoying . enjoying the feeling i have felt so many times and yet never.
my feet is bare and they are running over the wet grass. water splashing over my legs adding to the most exotic feeling i ever had. my speed is increasing...faster...faster...faster than i had ever run...faster than anyone could ever think....
my speed is changing with the slope....i get slow on thw ups and faster on the downs of the garden.
i am wet .Wet with the water pouring from sky and from the feeling burning out from my heart.
i had forgotten about the world..about my joys and sorrows...my failures and successes....mu past and future.
only thig i could sense was rain and wind amalgamation hitting on my face and my legs running on wet mud covered grass.........................

have you ever felt to break free of all worldly emotions and be you just you for once .and ever.
I do, i do when i see this dream.